10) Don't get into cars with strangers - and if you do, don't accept a joint. And if you decide to hold the joint, police will materialize and demand money. For further clarification, please contact Guy Leblanc ;-)
9) If you buy something, and the person is smiling and happy, you've paid way, way too much. If they are disgusted with you and curse your name, you've only overpaid slightly
8) Theft, robbery, and rafting down the Nile will likely not kill you. If you really want to live dangerously, sit/stand in the back of an open bed truck going down a dirt road at 80 km an hour on the side of a mountain. Or better yet, to just get seriously maimed, ride a "boda boda", a scooter/motorcycle zipping in between traffic while only wearing shorts, tshirt, and no helmet.
7) Elections in Canada are a dull, lesser of two evils while trying to get at least a decent part of the population out to vote kind of affairs. Elections in Uganda are a wild rally, flash the wrong symbol and you get beat up kind of affair (which is difficult when one party has the thumbs up for their symbol and the other party has the peace sign).
6) Always bring enough medications (anti-malarial, HIV prophylaxis, anti-diarrheal) for everyone travelling together - especially the anti-diarrheals...
5) when dancing at home, people touch each other because they're attracted to one another. When dancing in Uganda, people touch each other looking for money.
4) Buy good toilet paper, and bring it with you everywhere (back to the diarrhea...)
3) When you write home asking what people would like, expect funny/sarcastic/offensive remarks. For example - "Something made from the last individual of a species, or the last breeding pair of a species."
2) When all else fails, invent your own games. Our best one yet - water bottle bowling, in our room. Seven sets, confused neighbours, photo finish tie - priceless.
1) Tanzanian "Tout" Logic - the people who try to sell you stuff.
Seeing me walking down the street, this may be what's going through their heads:
Asian = Japanese
Japanese = Konichiwa
Konichiwa = Kung Fu
Kung Fu = Jackie Chan/Bruce Lee
Jackie Chan/Bruce Lee - Kung Fu Demonstration
Therefore, their best chance of selling something would be to put down their, things, start a kung fu demonstration in the street and ask
"Konichiwa Jackie Chan, want to buy a Jambo Jambo CD?"
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