Friday Night Panic

Greetings from the dark side. Herein lies one of medicine's dirty little secrets. Despite all our technological advances, research, randomized control trials, and advances in education, we still haven't learned how to keep us medical students from feeling utterly alone, panicky, and completely inadequate. Then again, this may just be an essential part of the learning process.

So Friday it hits me - I have an exam in a week, and I know NOTHING. Can't answer any questions, don't know where to start studying, nothing. Should I even be in med school? Maybe I should take some time off. I really wish I had read more/studied more/knew as much as my classmates/had someone to talk to.

The secret was most of us were feeling this way. With our A-type personalities, this is our first dose of reality. We are now assuredly never going to know all the answers, never going to be "the best" because there is no real such thing. And as we each go about our rotations, getting more and more sucked in, we feel more and more alone, and we can't believe our lives. Wake, work, "study", go home sleep. Rinse and repeat. So now I'm learning we have to find more balance, schedule in more fun, make sure that we commit to having fun.

Things I'm learning, and only hope I can pull things off to pass this darned exam, then figure out how to go from there. May this message find y'all in better shape, and if you're feeling alone, just remember, you're not really. Just put yourself out there - I'm sure there are more of us just dying for company as well.

Nicholas

P.S. Joshua Radin's "Closer" is my new favorite song...courtesy of Scrubs, episode 19, season 4 ;-)